Stay At Home Mom

My friend recently got razzed by a few of her co-worker's on her choice to be a stay at home Mom. Her friend told her she was going to be sitting on her butt, being lazy, that it wasn't 1956, that her kids would be freaks for not having the socialization from Day Care, and she wasn't helping the family.

I felt so sad when I read that.

I'll admit sometimes the thought of always just staying at home with the baby is a little daunting. Never getting to go out, answer phones, talk to people, solve problems, have grown up conversations, meet new friends, and have my own money does make me a little nervous. I love working. I always have. From the time I was old enough have a "real" job, I've always had a job. Now suddenly I was expected to stay home, every day, all day, with a shrieking, poopy baby. I would never get to go out shopping on a whim, I'd always toting a baby and all their gear. It's a lot to take in. And somehow I am still supposed to feel like an important, grown up person who was contributing to society. How is that possible when all I do is change diapers?

That was how I felt, until I had him.

I can't imagine missing his first giggle, or his first time rolling over, the first time he concentrated on a toy and grabbed it. And no one will love that baby the way I do. No one. And how can I be sure whoever is watching him will treat him as good as I do? He's a baby-he could never tell me if something happened whether he was treated well or mistreated. I'd also miss little moments that you can never have back.

As a nanny, I loved the kids I was with. One day little Miss came up to me squealing with excitement. We'd been working on tying shoes the last few days. I thought for sure she was a little young and she wouldn't get it-but she'd tied the ribbon on her skirt. All by herself. The pride in her eyes, the joy in her voice, and just being there to share it with her was special. I think of that little moment a lot, I got to witness so many of those with those children. When summer rolled around the same kids had a thousand camps to go to. It was the same little Miss' first time going to soccer camp and her brother's second. They don't always get along, in fact, I'd say they argued more than they didn't. But as I was heading down the stairs, there they were, having a quiet, soft conversation. As she sat there on the stairs, and he helped pull her socks over her shin guards, he calmed all her fears. He told her had been scared the first time he went, too. Then he tied her shoes. He said it would get better, that she was brave and she would be OK. She looked into his eyes, hanging on every word. In that moment, he was her hero, she trusted every thing he said. I just wanted to capture that moment forever, bottle it up for the bad days that would come later, and just remember how important those memories are. I was also proud, because I had helped teach him that behavior. I was so sad their Mom didn't get to share that moment with them, but I'm glad I did. It made me not want to ever be away from my baby for one second. First date? You betcha. I'll be right by his side...

This is where I break out into some Aerosmith (Um, I love Steven Tyler) and start singing... "I don't wanna close my eyes.... I don't wanna fall asleep... cause I'd miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing... " I am so glad Tristan can't roll his eyes yet.

So overhearing a little conversation, or sharing the joy of tying one's shoes for the first time might not be the same as getting an enormous bonus check, or making huge, important deals, or getting to wear pretty clothes every day, but it is bigger than that. You are taking care of a life. A tiny, little, lovey life that is yours. And as a Mom, you have a duty and calling to take care of that little bugger to the best of your ability, to teach them right from wrong, to teach them to be good citizens, and to follow that path of righteousness. You are the one who has that responsibility and calling. If you want it done right, do it yourself. So maybe I am not making a financial contribution to my family, but Jeff and I feel that me staying home with our babies is far more important than any paycheck. I'm raising people, and despite what the world thinks, there is nothing more important. As long as we can have food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs, then I will stay home with our little ones. Our kids will have a mother who is always, always home for them. I'll be there at the crossroads to give directions, I'll be there to bandage skinned knees, and I'll be there to love them no matter what... and the world will be a better place because I made a difference in the life of a child.

Suck on that, Career World.